Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My Ass Is My Nemesis

Nothing but childbirth and broken limbs should hurt as bad as my ass and legs hurt right now. Okay, maybe 3rd degree burns can be added to that list but this is what I'm trying to get at: the entire lower half of my body has rebelled. It's out to get me. It is, in fact, my nemesis. Simple tasks such as walking and sitting are proving to be a torture that I can only barely tolerate.

Red took me to "The Lab" with her Monday night (yes, I realize it's fucking Wednesday and I'm still complaining but seriously...if you went through it, you'd understand) and I got to witness first hand the type of sessions she goes through with her trainer. I'm still a little chubby in places but I'd like to consider myself pretty strong, pretty tough. It's not that I doubted what Red had told me about Sean, it's just that I thought I'd be able to handle it better. I lift weights three times a week and run a gazillion miles for fucks sake...why on god's green earth should I think I wouldn't be able to handle this? Oh, that's right...cuz I didn't figure in the sadistic whims of dear ol' Satan Sean.

Ok, while I'm just kidding about how horrible the experience was, I'm not when it comes to the soreness. But it's one of those things that hurts so bad it feels kinda good (and yeah, guys, lets not go for the obvious sexual tie in that only a moron would miss, ok? I'm talking strictly in the working out sense, ya pervs). I give huge props to Red cuz although she did her cute little whiny voice to him, she did every single thing that task master put before her. Impressed isn't a strong enough term for what I feel. Besides the joy of self inflicted torture, I got to meet one of Red's friends who is like the poster child for kick ass. She was tossing those weights around like they were mere toys. So I'm thinking that Sean was a large part of what got her to that point...which means I can hopefully attain that level of ass kickin' someday.

I still managed to stick with the rest of my workouts so far this week but I must admit...everything was done with a slight wince, an unintended limp or a slow as molasses speed. It'll all be worth it when I qualify for Boston though, right? Jesus if I don't then someone owes me something...I don't know who but god damn it, someone'll pay...

7 comments:

Soapin' Cindy said...

I couldn't help but laugh through this post. I wrote a very similar one back when I came as Inca's guest. I'll have to find the date of it so you can check it out in my archives. That was a brutal workout. Do you understand why I whine??? I can sit today without wincing.

Brett S. said...

I guess if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger right? Okay that only sounds good if you aren't the one close to death right. It's always good to try new workouts. No matter how easy they are it seems they come back to bit you in the ass a couple days later.

Inca Princess said...

Don't feel bad Maria - everyone goes through that.

When I first started working out with Sean, I made the mistake of showing up on a Saturday when he runs the circuit training session. OMG, I honestly couldn't lift my arms for three days.

He will turn you into an animal. You know, the kind of intimidator that will show up at a race and others will say "oh shit, Maria's here"!

Mistress Empyrean said...

Least there's a reason for your pain!

Nothing is worse than not being able to sit on the toilet though cause your legs hurt so bad. You have to do a squat and fall, which just makes you die a little inside.

Teresa said...

This totally reminds me of last summer, except I was the torturer. My clients hated me after a day of squats, lunges and sprints. But it hurts so good. RIGHT?! lol

Running 2 Mohican said...

I can honestly say the pain from lifting is top on the pain list for me. Keep it up, Boston or Bust!

Snookums said...

What a coincidence! My ass is my nemesis, too!

... but now that I think about it, my ass is also my beloved pillow.

So this love-hate relationship with my derriere may continue forever.

Here's hoping that the pain of a thousand knives doesn't last as long, though!

=)