Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My New Boyfriend

He's a prick. He's controlling. He's borderline abusive even. And worse yet, he makes me a slower runner. His name...Compartment Syndrome. This past fall I started having issues while running. Issues that didn't even make sense...mileage and pace that had always been fine turned into a nightmare.
I first noticed it while I was on the treadmill (which isn't one of my favorite places to be anyway). The pain started in the front of my lower legs, similar to shin splints but more towards the outside of each leg. It came on after about a quarter mile. In my head I thought I could just run through it so I continued on, wincing with every step. But then through the blare of my ipod I heard a thumping...now, if you've run with me before, you know I'm not one with a heavy footfall. I turned my music off and sure enough...it was my goddamn feet making that awful noise. But no matter what my brain told my feet to do, I couldn't control them, couldn't run lightly.
So now I'm about a half mile into this shit and realize there's no way I can keep going. I hobbled off the treadmill, my calves and shins swollen to the point that the skin covering them was shiny. The muscles themselves were so tight that just touching them hurt so bad that I thought they would snap. I made my way into the sauna just hoping that sitting there long enough would make the pain dissipate. After 15 minutes I was able to walk normally.
I chalked it up to just a bad day. Then for the next four runs it happened again and again. Those times I stubbornly pushed through, running a full 6 or 7 miles before calling it quits. Long story short (sorry, I've already gone on long enough) I went to the doctor, he diagnosed Compartment Syndrome in both legs (which led to the drop foot), told me not to run for a while, and told me surgery was the likeliest possibility if the rest didn't make it go away.
So I stopped running. And I stopped caring. And I started eating. The holidays were anything but joyful (for a myriad of reasons unfortunately) so I packed on some winter weight and hibernated for a good amount of time (those who know me well know the hiding I went into).
But I'm not good with wallowing. Nor am I good with being at a standstill. So after two and half months I ventured back onto the treadmill. Quarter mile and all's well. Half a mile and I'm still feeling fine. The gods are smiling down on me for once. Excited and impatient I end my run after a short 3 miles and get to making my plan of attack for my slow comeback and even slower return to distance running. I'm a sucker for the Cleveland Marathon. Most people hate that marathon, I personally love it. Its elevated and crushed me at different times and all I wanted was to train for it.
I've learned some things through getting back to this...when it comes to my times I've finally come to terms with the fact that I doubt I'll ever run what my old pace was. Every time I try to push it and run how I used to, my boyfriend speaks up, quite loudly actually. He wrangles me down and makes me submit to what I can only describe as a very lung friendly pace.
Adapting is hard...in every sense. But it filters out the fake. Only the things that are real rise to the top and its with great appreciation that I still feel capable to grab those things. No I'm not a fast runner anymore, but I'm still a marathoner.

36 comments:

Inca Princess said...

Welcome back Maria! You were definitely missed!

I'm so glad that you're able to run again! Maybe now I can try to keep up with my bouncy, beautiful, light-footed friend!

*hugs*

Maria said...

Oh honey!!!!! I missed YOU!! We have to get together and do dinner again sometime soon :)

btw, I saw a beautiful picture of you from the race this past weekend...

Bob said...

Welcome Back Maria . . . hope to see you, and maybe even run with you for a spell, at Cleveland!

Inca Princess said...

Beautiful picture of me? Is Brett stalking me again? ;-)

Oh Maria, I had my best race ever! I ran so well and I had fun, fun, fun! I'm ready for the 50k now!

Nick B said...

Way to hang in there, Maria. The Inca Princess sure did have a good race this weekend and spooked the heck out of me!

Good idea to bring your blog back to life. If I let mine go for that long, there are a few folks who would let me have it...my wife is one of them. How ironic that she is one of the "faithful" readers...kinda like talking to someone on a cell phone...from across the room.

Oops...I started typing like I was blogging. Anyway, kick your boyfriend where it hurts and get those 26.2 back!

Soapin' Cindy said...

You need to dump that bastard boyfriend! He's no good for you! I can not even imagine a non-lightfooted Maria, but you've got the right attitude girl--still running even if at a slower pace. Heck, I like slow! Good to have you back--thought you fell off the blogosphere altogether, but here you are. See you in Cleveland!

Janet Edwards said...

Maria, sorry to hear about your struggles and glad to see that things seem to be on the up and up! See ya out there!

Brian said...

Glad to hear you're back Maria. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!!

Teresa said...

Welcome back, Maria! Good to see you :)

Hua said...

Hi Maria,

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