I quit smoking 7 years ago. The thing I remember most was the feeling that without the cigarettes I wasn't myself anymore. I would go to parties or out to the bar and I would feel like a different person. I wasn't as funny, or as confident or even as sharp as I felt I used to be. Just everything about me seemed...skewed. At the time I felt like I would never be the same again. I felt awkward and unsure and clearly directionless. I would sit at the bar and literally rip the labels on my beer bottles to shreds since I didn't know what else to do with my hands. I felt like everyone who looked at me saw how much I didn't belong in my own skin, in my own surroundings.
I'm 6 weeks into no running. Unlike cigarettes though, I have no desire to abstain from this addiction. But just like with smoking, a part of my persona feels sick and unbalanced. I haven't been working out AT ALL in the past three weeks except for going to the lab once a week. So on top of no running, I'm getting soft and fat...doesn't that sound great? I don't feel like myself and it's starting to truly drain me. I'm normally such a positive, optimistic (albeit sarcastic) person but when I don't have this outlet, I turn into that girl fumbling at the bar. Don't get me wrong, I'm not so much a drama queen that I think this is the worst that can happen-I'm not a fucking moron, I KNOW it could be worse. But for the time being, my outlook seems to have soured a bit and I'm anxiously awaiting the time when I can lace up my shoes, get outside and return to who I know I am.
My main concern is this (and the very experienced marathoners please feel free to chime in on this) : I will hopefully get the ok to start "light jogging"~insert my puke face here at that term~ in two weeks, that puts me at the beginning of October. My doctor (who I really do love dearly) is (in my mind) so conservative when it comes to building my base back up. I'm afraid he's going to tell me to start off by running something stupid, like a mile at a time. I want to build my base (if you can even call it that) to at least 16 miles a week by November 1st. How am I supposed to do that AND follow the 10% rule?? I'm looking to be able to train extremely hard for The Last Chance for Boston marathon in February. I normally like 16 week training plans so that's why I'm looking for my start date to be around November. Can someone help me with the logistics...
